”We sat there for several minutes, not speaking. I could feel her breathing and the warmth of her small, firm body against my side. Her hair smelled of flowers and the warmth radiating from her carried the seductive scent of a healthy, desirable woman, pheromones or whatever it is that so muddles the male mind. Her emotions were a jumble of things, the fear and pain and horrid memories receding, now replaced by hope, by doubt, by longing and by a sense of relief, like something dark and heavy had been lifted from her shoulders.I squeezed her shoulders. “Julia, I’d be perfectly fine if I never again had to be any farther away from you than I am right now.”Again, we didn’t speak for a few minutes. I just held her, but when I finally leaned forward and looked at her, her cheeks were streaked with tears. “Hey. Hey, you okay?”“More okay than I’ve been in a very, very long time, I think. Thank you for listening to me, for letting me do that.”“Mm, yeah. I almost said ‘my pleasure’, but that. I talked to Mrs. Langston, but I was hysterical, you know how I get. God, how could I have been so stupid. It seems I'm doing a lot of stupid things these days. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. Please tell your parents that I love them, and will miss them too.Sweet poison. I meant it when I said it. When I kissed your lips, I almost died right there on the spot. They are at least as addictive as any drug I could take and will kill me in the end, but I can't help it. I did try to talk to my mother about it, but it embarrassed her I think. All she could say was, I would get over it. I wish I had a mother like yours; she at least will listen to ya and take it seriously.None of this, of course, is your fault, and I don't want you to think that I blame you for what I'm about to do. This is why I have left this note with you. I want you to read it first, to explain to you that it is NOT your fault. I am a lesbian. There I said it. I don't want to be, but I have known it.
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